Travel Quote . . .

Airline food is the tiniest food I’ve ever seen in my entire life. Any kind of meat that you get — chicken, steak, anything — has grill marks on each side, like somehow we’ll actually believe there’s an open-flame grill in the front of the plane!                       

                                                                      

Ellen de Generes

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Travel Quotes . . .

“Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness.” — American author Mark Twain

“Travel’s greatest purpose is to replace an empty mind with an open one.” ― English writer William Hazlitt

“To travel, to experience and learn: that is to live.” — Nepalese mountaineer Tenzing Norgay

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Strange & Bizarre request from guests . . .

TRAVELODGE, one of the UK’s biggest independent hotel chains, has revealed the most bizarre requests that some of its 18 million customers have asked whilst staying in one of its 523 UK hotels during the last 12 months.

The Travelodge hotel teams across the length and breadth of the UK receive thousands of strange requests every year and the oddities range from:

· Can you get me a Unicorn to carry my wedding proposal and engagement ring   to my girlfriend? 

· Can you get a white stallion horse to take me to my wedding ceremony?

· Where can I find a good Liverpool tart?

· What kind of cheddar cheese is the Cheddar Gorge made from?

· Can you move my room to the roof so I can sleep under the stars?

· Do I need a passport to go to Scotland?

· Can you get Kobe beef for my pet Pomimo called Cleopatra?

· What time do the Dinosaurs come out at the Jurassic Coast?

· Can you give me directions to Peter Rabbit’s burrow?

· Can you arrange for me to be woken up by the sound of bagpipes?

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Late night light relief

In a Danish airline office: We take your baggage and send it all directions.

In the lobby of a Bucharest hotel: The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.

In an Athens hotel: Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9and 11 A.M. daily.

On the door of a Moscow hotel room: If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it.

Adam Jacot de Boinod worked on the first series of BBC Television’s QI for Stephen Fry, and is the author of The Meaning of Tingo and Other Extraordinary Words from around the World – Penguin Books, £10. 

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Adam Jacot de Boinod gets lost in translation

• The Swedish vacuum cleaner company Electrolux told Americans that 'nothing sucks like an Electrolux'.

• Clairol messed up with their translation in Germany and made the mistake of trying to sell customers a manure stick instead of a mist stick for their hair.

• Coors told customers that their beer made people have diarrhoea. They meant to say it 'loosened you up'. 

Adam Jacot de Boinod worked on the first series of BBC Television’s QI for Stephen Fry, and is the author of The Meaning of Tingo and Other Extraordinary Words from around the World – Penguin Books, £10.

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Lost in translation . . .

WELCOME TO …

Adam Jacot de Boinod’s Wide World of Language Mistakes

• In a German lift: Do not enter the lift backwards and only when lit up. 

• In a Norwegian lounge: Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar. 

• For visitors to the Czech Republic: Take one of our horse-driven city tours: we guarantee no miscarriages. 

• In a German maternity ward: No children allowed in the maternity ward. 

Adam Jacot de Boinod worked on the first series of BBC Television’s QI for Stephen Fry, and is the author of The Meaning of Tingo and Other Extraordinary Words from around the World – Penguin Books, £10.

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Picture Credit: 54677546@N02/28917675201 Look via photopin.com

Danish favourites . . .

• cowboybukser - jeans
• hinke - hopping on one leg
• raevesøvn - sleeping with one eye open
• morgenfrisk - fresh from a good night’s sleep
• baderotte - a beach thief 
• elastikspring - bungee jumping 

Adam Jacot de Boinod worked on the first series of BBC Television’s QI for Stephen Fry, and is the author of The Meaning of Tingo and Other Extraordinary Words from around the World – Penguin Books, £10.

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Wide World of Product Names

ADAM Jacot de Boinod worked on the first series of BBC Television’s QI for Stephen Fry, and is the author of The Meaning of Tingo and Other Extraordinary Words from around the World – Penguin Books, £10.

• Skum – Swedish Confectionery 

• Crap - French chocolate 

• Dribly - Italian lemonade 

• Zit - Greek lemon and lime soft drink 

• Schmuck - German confectionery 

• Bang Bang - Spanish chewing gum 

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Wide World of Product Names

Adam Jacot de Boinod’s   Wide World of Product Names

• Polio - Czech detergent 

• Vaccine - Dutch aftershave 

• Climax - Kenyan disinfectant 

• Naked - New Zealand fruit and nut bar 

• Noisy - French butter 

• Last Climax - Japanese tissues 

Adam Jacot de Boinod worked on the first series of BBC Television’s QI for Stephen Fry, and is the author of The Meaning of Tingo and Other Extraordinary Words from around the World – Penguin Books, £10.

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To end the day with . . .

I don’t mind doing the bracing British beach bit, anoraks and gumboots and soggy fish fingers in the Sun-‘n’-Sands Café, so long as no one suggests I am supposed to enjoy it. Katherine Whitehorn

No matter what happens, travel gives you a story to tell.
Jewish Proverb

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Travel Talk . . .

We’ve never had a holiday. A week or two at Balmoral, or ten days at Sandringham, is the nearest we get. 

Princess Anne

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Wide World of Language Mistakes

In a Rome laundry: Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.

On a box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong: Guaranteed to work throughout its useful life.

In a Thai advertisement for donkey rides: We have our own ass if you would like to take a ride.


Adam Jacot de Boinod worked on the first series of BBC Television’s QI for Stephen Fry, and is the author of The Meaning of Tingo and Other Extraordinary Words from around the World – Penguin Books, £10.

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Picture Credit: 82186157@N00/12622037773">Failure to communicate</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com

Fun on the train

A GAGGLE of comedians have turned the overnight #CaledonianSleeper into a carriage of laughs as they start the build-up for this year’s #Glasgow International Comedy Festival (March 10-27).

Now in its 14th year, the festival brings a selection of top comedy stars including Daniel Sloss, Des Clarke, and Frankie Boyle, from across the UK and beyond to Scotland.

Ryan Flaherty, guest experience director at the Caledonian Sleeper, said: ‘We are extremely pleased to be supporting this year’s Glasgow International Comedy Festival, and what better way to kick off the extravaganza of laughs than by bringing some of the top acts aboard the Caledonian Sleeper?

‘With regular services from the centre of London to the heart of Glasgow, the Caledonian Sleeper is the perfect way to sleep while you travel before arriving refreshed and revitalized ready to enjoy a full day at the festival.’

www.glasgowcomedyfestival.com

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Light relief . . .

Actual complaints from dissatisfied travellers  . . . made me cry with disbelief!

"Although the brochure said that there was a fully equipped kitchen, there was no egg-slicer in the drawers"

"It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England. It took the Americans only three hours to get home. This seems unfair."

"When we were in Spain, there were too many Spanish people there. The receptionist spoke Spanish, the food was Spanish. No one told us there would be so many foreigners."

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Quirky and unusual

6th October is Mad Hatter Day which was introduced in 1986 by a group of computer people in Boulder, Colorado.

The Mad Hatter is a fictional character depicted in Alice's Adventures in Wonderland. The Mad Hatter is always acting silly so grab yourself a hat and . . . 

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Picture Credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/54357435@N00/311526736">Feed your head</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/">(license)

Light relief . . . .

It's the weekend . . . which means . . .  take-away!

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Light relief . . . One stop shop

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Light relief . . .

Off-peak travel . . . and you thought the tube was busy!

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Lie back and relax . . .

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Ingenious inventions . . .

NO gas no problem. . . definately one to try on the next camping trip.

                       

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