Travel Quote . . .

Airline food is the tiniest food I’ve ever seen in my entire life. Any kind of meat that you get — chicken, steak, anything — has grill marks on each side, like somehow we’ll actually believe there’s an open-flame grill in the front of the plane!                       

                                                                      

Ellen de Generes

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Lost & Found . . .

TRAVELODGE, has revealed some of the more interesting items left behind in its 525 UK hotels during 2016. With over 18 million people annually staying in a Travelodge hotel something is bound to get left behind some unusual items include . . .

At Dundee Strathmore Travelodge the housekeeper got a pleasant surprise when she opened the door to room 14 at the hotel and found a family of three generations of gnomes – chilling out in the room.

One fashion conscious customer left behind a trio of prosthetic legs at Manchester Piccadilly Travelodge. Each leg wore a different designer shoe. (This included a Valentino, Gucci and Mui Mui shoe) .

Interestingly, during 2016 quite a few business travellers have been very forgetful and some of the more unusual left behinds have included:

Keys to a haveli (a mansion) in Deli, India.

A Swarovski encrusted waving cat, a lucky charm in the Chinese culture which attracts good luck and fortune. The businessman was so distraught about leaving his lucky cat behind that he arranged for a special overnight courier to collect it and bring it back to him.

One business customer staying at Bank Travelodge left behind his annual company accounts and one CEO was in such a hurry to get to his meeting that he forgot his teddy bear, which has been his companion for forty years.

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Strange & Bizarre request from guests . . .

TRAVELODGE, one of the UK’s biggest independent hotel chains, has revealed the most bizarre requests that some of its 18 million customers have asked whilst staying in one of its 523 UK hotels during the last 12 months.

The Travelodge hotel teams across the length and breadth of the UK receive thousands of strange requests every year and the oddities range from:

· Can you get me a Unicorn to carry my wedding proposal and engagement ring   to my girlfriend? 

· Can you get a white stallion horse to take me to my wedding ceremony?

· Where can I find a good Liverpool tart?

· What kind of cheddar cheese is the Cheddar Gorge made from?

· Can you move my room to the roof so I can sleep under the stars?

· Do I need a passport to go to Scotland?

· Can you get Kobe beef for my pet Pomimo called Cleopatra?

· What time do the Dinosaurs come out at the Jurassic Coast?

· Can you give me directions to Peter Rabbit’s burrow?

· Can you arrange for me to be woken up by the sound of bagpipes?

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Travelodge: bizarre requests from business customers

DURING the last 12 months, Travelodge has seen a significant growth in more business customers staying at its hotels and detailed below are examples of some of the requests that Travelodge hotel teams have received from its business customers.

· Does your Bank Travelodge have a helipad as my boss is flying into London

  late tonight and will want to be dropped off at the hotel?

· Can you do my VAT returns?

· Can you tweet on my behalf whilst I attend a strategy day

· Can you read the stock market trading figures out to me whilst I eat

  breakfast?

· Can you take me out for a run this morning and work out with me before my

  big meeting

· Can you purchase my wife’s birthday present and wrap it up?

· Can you hold a brainstorm with my team whilst I take a conference call and

  present back the best ideas

· Can you help translate a presentation into Spanish?

· Can you be my personal shopper for the day?

· Can you ensure there is a blue sky today as I have an important planning

  meeting.

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Late night light relief

In a Danish airline office: We take your baggage and send it all directions.

In the lobby of a Bucharest hotel: The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.

In an Athens hotel: Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9and 11 A.M. daily.

On the door of a Moscow hotel room: If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it.

Adam Jacot de Boinod worked on the first series of BBC Television’s QI for Stephen Fry, and is the author of The Meaning of Tingo and Other Extraordinary Words from around the World – Penguin Books, £10. 

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Adam Jacot de Boinod gets lost in translation

• The Swedish vacuum cleaner company Electrolux told Americans that 'nothing sucks like an Electrolux'.

• Clairol messed up with their translation in Germany and made the mistake of trying to sell customers a manure stick instead of a mist stick for their hair.

• Coors told customers that their beer made people have diarrhoea. They meant to say it 'loosened you up'. 

Adam Jacot de Boinod worked on the first series of BBC Television’s QI for Stephen Fry, and is the author of The Meaning of Tingo and Other Extraordinary Words from around the World – Penguin Books, £10.

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Wide World of Product Names

ADAM Jacot de Boinod worked on the first series of BBC Television’s QI for Stephen Fry, and is the author of The Meaning of Tingo and Other Extraordinary Words from around the World – Penguin Books, £10.

• Skum – Swedish Confectionery 

• Crap - French chocolate 

• Dribly - Italian lemonade 

• Zit - Greek lemon and lime soft drink 

• Schmuck - German confectionery 

• Bang Bang - Spanish chewing gum 

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Adam Jacot de Boinod gets lost in translation

• Pepsi’s slogan ‘Come Alive with Pepsi’ was dropped in China after it was translated as Pepsi brings your ancestors back from the grave’. 

• When General Motors tried to market the Chevy Nova car in Central and South America, they overlooked the fact that No va means, ‘it doesn't go’ in Spanish. 

• When American Airlines wanted to advertise its leather first class seats in the Mexican market, it translated its ‘Fly In Leather’ campaign literally, which meant (vuela en cuero) Fly Naked in Spanish. 

Adam Jacot de Boinod worked on the first series of BBC Television’s QI for Stephen Fry, and is the author of The Meaning of Tingo and Other Extraordinary Words from around the World – Penguin Books, £10.

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Picture Credit: 39160147@N03/27256764966">Pepsi Emoji Displays, 5/2016, pics by Mike Mozart of TheToyChannel and JeepersMedia on YouTube #Pepsi #Emojis</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com

Wide World of Product Names

Adam Jacot de Boinod’s   Wide World of Product Names

• Polio - Czech detergent 

• Vaccine - Dutch aftershave 

• Climax - Kenyan disinfectant 

• Naked - New Zealand fruit and nut bar 

• Noisy - French butter 

• Last Climax - Japanese tissues 

Adam Jacot de Boinod worked on the first series of BBC Television’s QI for Stephen Fry, and is the author of The Meaning of Tingo and Other Extraordinary Words from around the World – Penguin Books, £10.

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Welcome to …

Adam Jacot de Boinod’s

Wide World of Words - Scotland

raw-gabbit speaking confidentially on a subject of which one is ignorant

maulifuff a woman without energy; a young woman who makes much fuss and accomplishes very little

ramstamphish rough, blunt, unceremonious; forward and noisy

pursy (Scottish dialect) short-breathed and fat

Adam Jacot de Boinod worked on the first series of BBC Television’s QI for Stephen Fry, and is the author of The Meaning of Tingo and Other Extraordinary Words from around the World – Penguin Books, £10.

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Picture Credit: 32136271@N08/28784092822">A Thussel!</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin

Wide World of Language Mistakes

In a Rome laundry: Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.

On a box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong: Guaranteed to work throughout its useful life.

In a Thai advertisement for donkey rides: We have our own ass if you would like to take a ride.


Adam Jacot de Boinod worked on the first series of BBC Television’s QI for Stephen Fry, and is the author of The Meaning of Tingo and Other Extraordinary Words from around the World – Penguin Books, £10.

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Picture Credit: 82186157@N00/12622037773">Failure to communicate</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com

Travel talk . . .

I envy people who can just look at a sunset. I wonder how you can shoot it. There is nothing more grotesque to me than a vacation. 

Dustin Hoffman

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Brit called Foreign Office to ask where to buy bacon abroad

BRITS ABROAD contacted the UK’s Foreign and Commonwealth Office (FCO) last year with bizarre questions, ranging from where to buy English bacon in Europe, how to hire a butler in Lebanon, and how to avoid nudists in Spain.

The FCO has released details of the 10 strangest calls as a reminder to the travelling public that it provides only an emergency service.

The calls included:

A man planning to move to Spain was worried he would encounter nudists walking through the streets

A homesick expat asking where he could buy English bacon

A lady in Lebanon looking for help to recruit an English butler

A European filmmaker looking for an English pensioner to play a part in his film

A woman who was disappointed by the British Embassy’s failure to send someone to give her a tour of St. Petersburg on her arrival in Russia

A British man asking for assistance to get illegal employment in Singapore

A confused businessman looking for information on the construction of plug sockets

A man in South Korea asking what he could do with his old pound notes

Almost half a million calls were made to the consular service last year and the FCO assisted with numerous cases, helping 3,250 Brits who were hospitalized, 4,770 who were arrested, and the families of 3,670 who died overseas.  Almost 38,000 replacement travel documents were issued.

Head of the FCO's Global Contact Centres, Kelvin Green said: ‘We receive thousands of calls a year, and do all we can to help people who find themselves in difficulty abroad. But we cannot help people make travel arrangements or lifestyle plans, lend them money, or pay medical and other bills for them. I would urge people to prepare well before they travel, making sure they have valid travel documents and insurance.’


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Fun on the train

A GAGGLE of comedians have turned the overnight #CaledonianSleeper into a carriage of laughs as they start the build-up for this year’s #Glasgow International Comedy Festival (March 10-27).

Now in its 14th year, the festival brings a selection of top comedy stars including Daniel Sloss, Des Clarke, and Frankie Boyle, from across the UK and beyond to Scotland.

Ryan Flaherty, guest experience director at the Caledonian Sleeper, said: ‘We are extremely pleased to be supporting this year’s Glasgow International Comedy Festival, and what better way to kick off the extravaganza of laughs than by bringing some of the top acts aboard the Caledonian Sleeper?

‘With regular services from the centre of London to the heart of Glasgow, the Caledonian Sleeper is the perfect way to sleep while you travel before arriving refreshed and revitalized ready to enjoy a full day at the festival.’

www.glasgowcomedyfestival.com

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Light relief . . .

Actual complaints from dissatisfied travellers  . . . made me cry with disbelief!

"Although the brochure said that there was a fully equipped kitchen, there was no egg-slicer in the drawers"

"It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England. It took the Americans only three hours to get home. This seems unfair."

"When we were in Spain, there were too many Spanish people there. The receptionist spoke Spanish, the food was Spanish. No one told us there would be so many foreigners."

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Quirky and unusual

6th October is Mad Hatter Day which was introduced in 1986 by a group of computer people in Boulder, Colorado.

The Mad Hatter is a fictional character depicted in Alice's Adventures in Wonderland. The Mad Hatter is always acting silly so grab yourself a hat and . . . 

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Picture Credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/54357435@N00/311526736">Feed your head</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/">(license)

Light relief . . . .

It's the weekend . . . which means . . .  take-away!

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Light relief . . .

Capri, Italy

No flip flops please! 

Locals in Capri, Italy,obviously enjoy a tranquil environment  - there is a ban on ‘noisy footwear’.

Barbados

Forget fashion! It’s illegal to wear or carry any camouflage items on Barbados, unless you're a member of Barbados’ drug and defense forces.

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Picture Credit: "Rainbow flip-flops" by alonis - summer rainbows. Licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0 via Wikimedia Commons, http://www.flickr.com/photos/28481088@N00/2231602241">Muga</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/">(license)

I’m drunk … I’ll book a holiday!

RESEARCH by online travel agency sunshine.co.uk found that as many as two fifths of Britons have booked an overseas holiday whilst intoxicated, with more than a quarter of them admitting that, when sober, they regretted the drunk booking they had made.

The main next-day regrets were about the cost of the holiday, the people they'd picked to go on holiday with, and the accommodation choice.

The survey found that 27% of those who'd made drunk holiday bookings contacted – when they’d sobered up – the travel provider to either cancel or make changes to the booking. The most common changes made included shortening the length of the holiday, downgrading accommodation, and changing the destination completely.

Chris Clarkson, managing director of sunshine.co.uk, said: ‘There are plenty of things that you shouldn't do when drunk; and whilst there are the more obvious ones like driving, operating heavy machinery or texting an ex-partner, booking a holiday should be right up there with them.

‘You need to have a clear head when booking a trip, or else you risk making mistakes that are hard to undo. There are often charges to make changes to a booking and even something as small as inputting your name exactly as it appears on your passport, as is required, can be a challenge after one too many vodkas.’

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Picture Credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/49149363@N00/467766536">Come fly with me</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/">(license)

Light relief . . . One stop shop

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